Sandy recently marked her 50th birthday with a glass of champagne, but she was alone.
“It was really hard not to feel upset,” says Sandy, who is from Brisbane/Meanjin and requested her real name not be used.
“[I was] also feeling embarrassed and that sense of shame, being 50 and sitting at a bar by myself.”
Her husband had taken a work opportunity abroad during her birthday week.
“Other than my son at home and the one who called from overseas, no one really reached out, and I didn’t feel I could call anyone,” she explains.
“I spent the morning with my dog and my cat.”
Although Sandy’s marriage appeared perfect from the outside, she confesses that she feels more isolated than ever.
And research supports that many women share these feelings, with one in three Australians reporting frequent loneliness.
The ABC podcast Ladies, We Need to Talk delves into why, in a world where we’re constantly connected through group chats and just a few swipes away from a potential partner, loneliness still prevails.
Loneliness tied to shifts in identity
In Australia, the loneliest age groups are those between 18 and 24, and 45 to 54.
“In Australia, we’re a Western, individualistic culture, and that’s not great for loneliness,” says Bella Ingram, a clinical psychologist from the University of Wollongong.
Dr. Ingram explains that loneliness often arises when people experience shifts in their identity due to life changes.
For Sandy, it’s her children growing up.
“I’m at a stage where the boys don’t need me as much anymore… and I’m sitting here thinking, what do I do now?” she reflects.
