‘Sandwich Generation’ Feeling the Strain as Caregiving Responsibilities Deepen Across Generations
Phyllis Foundis balances two phones, two languages, and the needs of her 95-year-old mother on FaceTime — all while raising two teenage sons and maintaining part-time work from home. She’s part of the growing sandwich generation, those in midlife who are caring simultaneously for elderly parents and dependent children, while trying to manage their own lives and careers.
Trying to update her mother Barbara’s health insurance details over the phone, Ms Foundis switches between Greek and English, explains her role as primary caregiver, and navigates bureaucratic systems on her mother’s behalf — all familiar terrain for those like her facing the daily demands of intergenerational caregiving.
“I have a long to-do list, other goals I want to reach, but my mother needs me,” she said. With her brother living hours away from Sydney, the primary responsibility falls to her.
More Than a Sandwich — It’s a ‘Soup’
Ms Foundis, who co-parents her teenage sons with her former partner, likens her life not to a neat “sandwich,” but to a “soup.”
“There are days when it feels chunky, messy and unpalatable; and other days when it’s nourishing — it’s multigenerational,” she said. “Everyone’s connecting to you in a different way.”
Unpaid Care Takes Its Toll
A recent survey by end-of-life planning NGO Violet revealed the pressure sandwich carers are under. Respondents described having to constantly trade off their personal lives and goals to care for parents and children alike. One respondent called it “insurmountable,” as she supported a son living with psychosis and a 98-year-old mother.
Demographer Bernard Salt told ABC Radio Sydney that 50-something Australians — especially women — are the most squeezed, caring for both aging parents and children who remain dependent longer due to rising living costs and extended education timelines.
“Twenty-something kids, 80-something parents, 50-something sandwiches,” Salt remarked. “Over the next six or seven years as baby boomers push past 80, it’s only going to accelerate.”
Salt predicts that by 2031, the number of Australians turning 85 each year will jump to 60,000 — five times the current figure — significantly intensifying caregiving demands.
Gendered Burden
Violet’s survey and recent research from the Committee for Sydney highlight that women are bearing the brunt. Women in Sydney, for example, work an average of 13 more hours a week than men when combining paid and unpaid labor. Almost two-thirds of those formally caring for both parents and children are women.
Despite the emotional and logistical challenges, Ms Foundis sees value in being truly present for her mother.
“She relies on me so much that it’s important to be present with her, rather than just seeing her as someone demanding more of me,” she said.
The ‘soup’ of caregiving may be messy — but for many in the sandwich generation, it’s also deeply meaningful.
