Third Leaders’ Debate Recap: Less Showdown, More Snooze-fest
The much-hyped third debate turned out to be a letdown, with less tension than an average episode of Lego Masters.
Right off the bat making the Prime Minister look like he borrowed his suit from a kids’ store. Flick past the channels too quickly and you’d think you stumbled onto Scooby-Doo reruns — with Dutton as Scooby and Albo as Scrappy.
At one point, Dutton even jokingly raised his hand as if to say, “You must be this tall to ride.”
Moderator Ally Langdon tried to channel her A Current Affair energy but landed more in Deal Or No Deal territory. She explained that each leader would be limited to 60-second answers and that a little back-and-forth would be welcome for drama’s sake.
But that promised theatre never came.
What the show really needed was a buzzer countdown, crowd chants, and perhaps even a shoey — ideally by Karl Stefanovic. Unfortunately, Karl opted for daiquiris in Fiji instead of moderating the debate. Who could blame him?
The debate repeated familiar themes: cost of living, housing, Medicare. Everyone — the leaders included — seemed to be mentally on Easter break.
In an effort to spice things up, Langdon took a jab at Dutton.
“You’re slipping in the polls — how do you rate your performance?”
Then came The Panel of Chaos, featuring three questioners — one woman, one man, and one guy trying to stir the pot by asking both leaders to accuse each other of lying.
This quickly turned into a Married At First Sight-style “Honesty Box” moment.
“He’s loose with the truth!” barked Dutton.
“You couldn’t lie straight in bed,” he added for dramatic flair.
Albo, staying chill with his ice water, gave a mild clapback: “Peter, that’s a sign of desperation.”
The debate then trundled back into its familiar loop of policy questions. Langdon tried one last push:
“People are sick of the same talking points. Inspire them!”
Fair point. What we really wanted were Spotify playlists, hot takes on MAFS, or perhaps promises to add sci-fi youth serums like The Substance to the PBS.
Before any wild answers could come, the clock ran out.
“Time flies when you’re having fun!” Langdon chimed.
Well… at least someone was having fun.
